Is
It Legal? (To expose them online?) Some very provocative
things to look at when you go to expose them online. Good, sound
research has gone into this article and you may be surprised at the
conclusion Articles
and Stories that are off-site:
Ambient Abuse(by Dr.
Sam Vaknin) is the
stealth, subtle, underground currents of maltreatment that sometimes go
unnoticed even by the victims themselves, until it is too late.
Cycles of Abuse: this is an
outline and shows the "previolence" stages which includes verbal abuse.
Interacting
with Your Abuser by Sam Vaknin.
Remember
that many interactions are
initiated by your abusive ex in order to trap or intimidate you. Keep
referring him to your lawyer regarding legal issues, to your accountant
or financial advisor concerning money matters,...
Many of the skills for recognizing abuse can be found in
this article Dealing
with Domestic Abuse: Lessons from Kathy, It includes a true story
of a women who died after an emotionally abusive relationship, coping
strategies you can develop and a safety plan if you are not ready to
get out.
Setting Personal Boundaries:
The
purpose of having boundaries is
to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell
other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to
us. This article explains exactly how to protect and defend
ourselves.
Tell Your Children the Truth: Most victims attempt to present to their
children a "balanced" picture of the relationship and of the abusive
spouse. In a vain attempt to avoid the notorious (and controversial)
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), they do not besmirch the abusive
parent and, on the contrary, encourage the semblance of a normal,
functional, liaison. This is the wrong approach.
All material becomes the non-exclusive property of this site. In other
words, we can do whatever we want with the material, but you still own
rights, too. We will put a link to your site if you have one
or include your email if you want people to contact you about your
story.
What saved Marcia's
Life?
Seriel killer, Gary
Ridgeway's, second
wife
was choked by Gary from behind once a few years into their marriage.
She was not a co-dependent
or caught in the cycle of abuse because she did not keep his
secret! Marcia told her dad, mom and
friends that her husband had tried to kill
her. Guess what? Years later when caught by the police, he told them
that he indeed wanted to kill Marcia, his second wife. There was only
one reason he did not stage her death, he explained. Because she told
so many people, he deduced they would suspect him and he might get
caught. Wow. Telling the
"secret" saved Marcia's life. Will it save
yours?
Send Us Your Story
We may
be interested in sharing your
comments or story on this site. This is a wonderful way to help other
men and women involved in an abusive situation. By
submitting your story to us, you agree to the conditions listed
here.
All
material
becomes the non-exclusive property of this site. In other
words, we can use the material here, quote you in other sections, and
use
this story in other projects, and you still own
non-exclusive rights, too. We will put a link to your site if you
have one
or include your email if you want people to contact you about your
story. Or we will keep you completely anonymous. This is up to you.
Most stories should be 750 to 1200 words and we ask you to refrain from
being mean. Tell us what happened to you, what you learned to
prevent abuse from continuing, and the solutions that worked best for
your situation.
We do not
change the
names to protect the guilty, but you may want to, especially if you
might be the target of retaliation or you have kids. We may also
change
the names for liability reasons. But most likely, the names you put
in the story are the names we will use. When
you write in, give us a name, an email address where we can reach you,
and your city and state. Emails without a legitimate email return
address and the city and state you are contacting us from will be
deleted without being read (if you live in too small a town and need to
conceal it, give the closest large city).
Copy and paste this sentence either before or after your story:
I have read the conditions listed here:
http://www.youareatarget.com/articles.html#Send_Us_Your_Story
and agree to
them.
The abuser, like some kind of alien
life
form, invades and colonizes the victim's mind and becomes a permanent
presence. Abused and abuser never cease the dialog of hurt,
recrimination, and glib denial or rationalization that is an integral
part of the act.~Sam Vaknin
