My Psychopath Bigamist, a Legend in His Own Mind

The last four years of my life can be equated to a bad amusement park ride, and recently I learned that someone I have begun talking to via telephone on a daily basis will most likely become a friend for life, and we will forever be tied together by the two step children we both cared for and loved as well as the man we loved unconditionally for a combined ten years. Though we have not met yet met face to face, we will very soon…at the trial of our husband , Charles Edward "Ed" Hicks, for the class four felony charge of bigamy on September 13, 2005 in the Circuit Court of Fairfax County, VA.

I am the victim of what I believe to be a narcissist, psychopath, and a real live con man bigamist , Charles Edward "Ed" Hicks. Keep in mind, I am not stupid, though I feel like a fool; I am ashamed, but not too ashamed. You will be surprised to know I am educated, have worked as a teacher for fifteen years, and an IT professional for 14. I make a very comfortable living, own my home, bought a new car every four years, traveled quite a bit, and managed to save for retirement…that was before I met the leech.

The last two years of my life can be described as mind-boggling, and that was before I learned “the rest of the story”. I am almost fifty years old, but my life will slowly begin to reinvent when I see our judicial system do what it is supposed to do and put him behind bars. I truly believe rehabilitation will not work for this psychopath, and that he must sit in a jail cell so he can no longer prey on kind, unsuspecting women. I pray the system works.

A few months before I married him, I had already picked up on some of his lies and was a blind fool to his cheating, I thought if he loved me enough, he would change, but a psychopath cannot love. Moreover, a psychopath can never change and can never possess the ability to see themselves as doing anything wrong, for they do not hold a conscience and will never feel remorse over what they have done to those who love them.

About six months into our marriage, credit collectors began calling my home followed by warrants in debt posted on the front door. By that time, my father had become ill, and as an only child, all of my worries focused to him. I put my worsening suspicions of my husband on the backburner.

My nightmare became even more tumultuous. On December 14, 2003 , my loving father was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer; on February 13, 2004 he passed away. Then, a recurring degenerative disease of my esophagus reared its ugly head, and I had to have major surgery at The Cleveland Clinic, and I spent eight weeks at home recovering. Just as I was getting over my surgery, my mother went into the hospital on September 13, 2004 and passed four months later. I am angry that I let this man into my heart and he was standing over my parents’ dead bodies within minutes after they passed away. I am sick to my stomach over that. I allowed him to sit next to me at both the funerals of the parents who adored me, and he watched my heart break at their gravesides. They are turning in their graves now, but would want me to do exactly what I am doing. I can hear my dear mother tell me to “lock him up”. If my father were alive and knew what this man had done to me, after promising my father HE would always take care of me. My father’s sharpshooter skills as Purple Heart recipient and Staff Sergeant for the fifth army, 85th division in WWII Italy and North Africa would be put to use once more. I am relieved that neither of my parents is alive now to hear the details of my last four years.

Somewhere between my father’s death and my surgery, I filed our 2003 taxes jointly and we were to get a refund. However, the refund never came and when I called the IRS and state, I learned there had been a wife I did not know about and she had filed a joint tax return with HIM before I had met the “love of my life”. When I confronted him about the tax situation and also a Chapter 13 filing that kept our federal refund from us, he exploded. For the first time in my life, I thought a man was going to hit me. He said “his” tax problems did not concern me” and he would take care of them. I was not as concerned with the tax problems as I was the other Mrs. Joint Filer in a previous year. He told me she was someone he used to live with and she had illegally filed and she could go to jail. Of course, at that point, I did not believe that yarn, nor did I believe anything he told from that point on.

He had already began to press hard for me to take out my retirement and buy a sailboat and for me to use part of my inheritance to finish paying for the property we had purchased in the

Bahamas

. He was pushing for me to sell my home so we could use that money to build a house on the Bahamian property. He also insisted that I put everything in joint accounts and said that was the way real marriages worked. He was using me; he was conning me, and I knew at that point I needed to really start “digging”.

On the day I kicked him out of my home, I found a personal ad he had written advertising for the woman of his dreams and a woman to enjoy retirement to his island paradise (a piece of property we owned jointly), with the love of his life:

If you are into warm clear water, love the sun and outdoor life of sailing, learning other water sports, than you are the one. Are you looking for that illusive ove of your life. Willing to allow love into life . Love watching the sunset or help me build a home full of love and life. You are the one I need in my life.

I am in love with love and this is what I would like to find. Us having a life together but will allow each other to have a life of their own. By saying this I mean you need to have things you like to do which does not require anyone else. Have interests which you can participate in by yourself and can share with a loved one.

You have to give of yourself without reserve. If you love someone and that someone loves you than you have a chance to make a life with each other. I don't have selfish motives and would expect that in a mate.

The ad went on and on and after two minutes into reading this dribble, I called HIM at his work and told him to get out that day. Then, I phoned a locksmith and asked him to be at my home in one hour. In a matter of eleven hours, I had kicked my husband (or so I thought) out of my home, had the locks changed on the doors, and for good measure had the wireless company shut his cell phone off (everything was in my name).

Little did I know, that I would learn that not only were there lies and lies on top of lies, lies even for he sake of lying, but I was also married to a bigamist. A few days later, I learned he had been married at least eight times and he did not always get divorces.

I was at an attorney’s office within forty eight hour of hearing that news from the former wife that I thought was his only former wife (the mother of the children I provided emotional and financial support to for almost three years).

Two years prior, while attending HIS daughter’s high school graduation and party activities, I asked her mother pointedly if he had ever been married to the woman he told me had only lived with him for a while, the woman that was "crazy" and followed him to Virginia. I am not really too pleased with the previous wife that is the mother of the two children that I provided financial and emotional support to for three years, but I do understand that he was most likely the cause of his ex wife's substance abuse problem, and HE always threatened that he would keep her children away from her, which was her excuse for not warning me, for lying to me. She is still brainwashed, controlled, and emotionally scarred by this predator.

After meeting with my attorney, I drove to the police station, and told the officer on duty that I had reason to believe my husband was a bigamist. The officer called the preceding Mrs. only to confirm that, yes, he was married to her and still is. Furthermore, Ed left without telling her where he was. She told the officer she would do anything to help them and cooperate fully. Right after that, we began talking on the phone daily. Our lives were the same, hers for six years, and mine for four; she had been on the same bad amusement ride as me. We are therapy for each other.

So, to live with myself, to try to become a better person from this experience, to begin my healing process and repair my emotional damage, I am going to do a good thing for society. For other vulnerable, trusting single women out there. I am going to try to ensure this man gets three squares a day and an new wardrobe for a little while. To you lonely, vulnerable, nice moms, grandmothers, aunts, and sisters, I will keep pushing and become relentless until his next home is a jail cell. I’ve exposed him in The Washington Post, The Monterey County (CA) Herald, and WTTG even interviewed me the day of his preliminary hearing and did a broadcast twice that day on their 5 pm and 10 pm news reports. The Associated Press and Knight-Ridder wire services picked up the Washington Post and Monterey Herald articles (see article list below).

The psychopath will miss my great cooking, his own personal maid service, his every need catered to, and I do mean everything. But of course the cooking, the immaculate house, the laundry, the way the kitchen cabinets were arranged, and even the way we made love at times, would be "inadequate, not good enough," and it was always MY fault. At some point every thing we did became inadequate. And of course, HE is NEVER to blame. I have the problem; I have the issues; there is something wrong with me, I have mental problems, I am crazy, and he is PERFECT. More importantly, he truly believes he is ENTITLED.

I have had to take an equity line on my home to pay for the bills he ran up that included his children’s college tuition and books, toys for him, and his uncanny ability to run up more car repair bill than I have ever seen I my life. In almost three years I paid almost $45,000 to the household expenses and he paid a mere $26,000. And that, along with $15,000 in credit card bills, is actually a drop in the bucket. There were numerous trips, evenings out, concerts, sporting events, etc., etc. Was it fun? In retrospect, NO it was not fun. Was it worth it? NO. For all of his adult life he has created nightmares in the lives of seven women we know of, not to mention numerous affairs, and God only knows how many children. He does not pay bills; he has a laundry list of garnishments, warrants, and tax liens. At least one tree would perish as a result of printing his credit history.

I am a lucky one; I am not financially ruined, but I am scarred, yet I feel so blessed. It could have been worse for me; it really could have. Some of us wives are still emotionally ruined whether through depression or addiction; some of us are financially ruined and will be for a long time. One thing we all have in common after the wrath of havoc this MAN creates, we are all victims of emotional abuse from this vampire. Don’t be like us; don’t let him suck you in. Listen to me, if you give in to his charisma, his charm; his intelligence, you will get at the end of a long line of marriages, emotional turmoil, and the worst roller coaster ride of your life.