They said what?
Come join us as we journey through some
all-too-familiar lines from the
abusers and sex addicts we allowed ourselves to get tangled up with.
"I never wanted to hurt you." (Oh, really? Then
please explain why you constantly did things with the full knowledge
and
understanding that I would be hurt when I found out!)
"I saw a hooker once but it was SO meaningless."
(It was about 15 different hookers actually. I guess he to really make
sure it
was meaningless.)
"It's not like that with
her. We have a very different friendship." (Umm yeah, is
this
one of those ‘meaningless’ friendships?)
"I don't want to live with anyone." (..especially
since within a month of my moving out - the other woman moved in!!)
"I love you to death." (Please don’t)
"I was created to be miserable and I'm never going to be anything but
miserable." (This is one of those rare times I wish you
wouldn’t open up.)
"It's all God's fault. He made me." (The ultimate trump in the blame
game.)
"If I have to choose, I choose me. You should too." (Oh good, you’ve
been to www.YouAreATarget.com)
"You need to learn to read my mind. You need to know what I
want before I know what I want so we can be
happy." (I think I’ll opt
for knowing what you need…a swift kick in the ______.)
"I don't need anyone. No one else matters to me but me." (And your
point is?)
"I never loved her, never." (I understand, you
never did love anyone but YOURSELF)
"I never said that." (Let me play this tape
recorder I’ve been carrying for moments like this.)
Murmuring "you ugly bitch" barely loud
enough for me to hear, then denying it and claiming that I was "hearing
things.".
From the same person: "Sex to me is such an emotional thing!" (6
weeks later) "Casual sex is so much better. You get off and
you're
gone. You should try it!"
"I don't want a relationship with anyone because I
don't want to have to care about anyone else's feelings." (Perhaps the
most disturbing and appalling thing I ever heard come out of his mouth.
The
MOST Truth He ever told)
"I slept in my car." (Actually, he had slept with some other girl he
met.)
"I will pay you to have sex with your best girlfriend
while I watch." (Same person, hours later to a different woman.) "I
don't like lesbians or bisexual girls. It turns me off."
"If you REALLY loved me, you would sleep with a woman in front of
me." (Let’s start with you sleeping with a man in front of me.)
"I'd never cheat on you." (Unless he wants to.)
"If we can survive this crisis we can make it through
anything." (i.e. you put up with this so you'll put up with worse.)
"If you don't know I love you by now you're never going
to." (I think if you’d stop giving me bloody noses I might understand
this
better.)
"Nobody will ever love you like I do." (God, let’s hope not!)
"How can you question my feelings about you?" (If you come home
sometime this month, I’ll tell you.)
"The only problem we have is YOU." (Right. If I would just stop
bitch’n about your girlfriends, stop crying when you call me names, and
drop
the restraining order, things would be peachy.)
"I'm a one woman man." (One woman at a time we bet!—unless he wants a
threesome.)
"I can't believe someone so "smart" can be so f***ing
stupid." (I absolutely agree.)
"You are a waste of human space." (Married to a space of human waste,
no doubt.)
"You don't have any
dreams." (Right now it’s all about nightmares, isn’t it?)
"You got sick on purpose to upset me." (Barf)
"You have no idea what real work is." (Yeah, like working on this
relationship?)
"You used me and this marriage to get what you want." (Yeah, I always
wanted to be humiliated, alienated from family and friends, criticized
constantly, intimidated, told I am crazy, called a fat pig, threatened
with
harm if I don’t do what you want, called stupid, and forced to have sex
–making my skin crawl--right after you
have done any or all of the above.)
"The marriage was a set up on your part, right?" (Yes, I wanted to
trap you and make you terribly unhappy so that you could spend the rest
of your
life making me unhappy.)
"You are a lousy mother." (Is that proportionally related to how good
a husband you are?)
"You are a sex maniac." (Because we haven’t had sex in 6 months and I
made eyes at you?)
"I don't want to take, I want to share." (And you were sharing with the
4-5 women I caught you dating simultaneously?)
"I'm going to do what I want to do." (Is this a two way street?)
"I'm smarter than you'll ever be." (I can’t argue with that
considering I’m the one staying in a relationship with a man who finds
me so stupid.)
"You know what I want you to know." (I know.)
"Haven't you learned yet that things revolve around me and not you?"
(oooOK)
"I have to treat you like a child because you act like one." (Please,
oh please, please please, don’t tell
that to the board of the high powered corporation I work for!)
"I know I could never have my cake and eat it too. I'm committed
to
you." (Until you’re not.)
"Just listen to me and everything will be fine."
(Like it is now?)
"My ex-wife/current wife/partner was/is cold she had no
feeling/didn't like sex/was mean to me." (Can’t you watch What’s
My Line or something and get some
new material for this one?)
"No one in the entire world is interested in anything you think or
say." (I think the therapist called this projection.)
"She's just a friend." (Yeah - a "friend" you happen to
have sex with behind my back....which is why she became MY ex-friend!)
"That person (who exposed them) is making it up. They're
harassing/obsessed with me." (Oh, then why was it you who contacted
them
46 times in a two month period?)
"Too bad we didn't know how we really felt when we
first met." (Too bad you pretended to be someone else.)
"You don't trust me?” (How don’t I trust thee, let me count the ways…)
”I only downloaded all that pornography because I wanted to test the
adobe
software.” (Like you read Hustler for the articles?)
"You just don't get it." (I do now.)
"You're being selfish." (Because I want a washing machine so I don’t
have to keep doing the laundry in the bath tub rather than get you
another
hunting rifle?)
"It's over. I'm done." (Then why do you keep coming back????)
"You're fat." (And your dick is small. I can lose weight.)
"You can't clean well." (And your point is?)
"I know what's best for you." (Uhmm, can we get a second opinion?)
"Your opinion is a matter of opinion; my opinion is a matter of
fact." (Can I get that embroidered on a pillow somewhere?)
"God tells me to do drugs!" (Gosh, and I thought the devil made you
do it!)
"Don't think...every time you do it causes problems." (Only if you
think about it.)
"Just listen to what I say, and we won't have problems." (If I only had to listen, it would be fine.
The trouble is that you expect me to do
what it is you say, not just listen.)
"You’re crazy, what the hell's wrong with you?" (I’ll give you one
guess.)
"It’s my job to handle the money." (Oh, I
forgot. With my bachelor’s degree and your high school diploma, I’m
still too stupid to handle things like money.)
When I wanted to freshen up for a sexual encounter he pushed
my head down and said, “You look good enough to suck my cock.” (Gag me
with a
dick.)
"If you could just be a normal person, everything would be fine." (Normal best describes a setting on a
washing machine, not people in a marriage.)
"You know deep down inside you are bisexual." (The way this is going,
soon I will be bye-sexual.)
"You're the Love of My Life/Soulmate/Twin Soul." (For the next 15
minutes?)
"What I want from this marriage is to destroy
you." (Say what?)
“Every guy does it.” (What it is every guy does is say,
‘Every guy does it.’)
"It's your fault I have online personal ads - I am in need relief."
(Is it may fault you advertised yourself as a rich oral surgeon when
you are a
about-to-be-bankrupt mechanic?)
"If you stay with me, you won't like me very much." (Why, oh why
didn’t I listen?)
“I’m sorry I did that, but if you hadn’t looked at me that
way, I wouldn’t have blown up.”
“We have a special bond. No matter what happens,
I know that we'll always end up together." (It’s called “trauma
bonding.”)
“Why do you challenge
my authority all the time?” (After I hired a computer technician to fix
my
computer and not let my husband try—he’s crashed both our computers
about 10
times but now he knows how they
work!)
“You’re not allowed to talk to any men, even at your work.”
(When I asked how I could take orders since I was a waitress, he
answered, “You
just stand there and write the orders. Don’t talk.”)
And the
winners are….
"Don't tell (name of wife) about us. It will ruin
our happiness."
"I will buy a camera for you to make private movies for
me. Catch my drift?"
"Send me pictures of your pussy so I can have them for
always."
"Suck my dick like you mean it."
If you are
caught off guard and hear these lines once, shame on them! If
you hear them twice, that means you didn’t put a stop to it immediately
and
shame on you. Stop verbal and emotional abuse now by respecting
yourself and
demanding your partner respect you too. Remember the Miracle Principle:
You must dance together or the dance ends.
Special thanks to http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/
for the idea and material contributions.
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Print out the They Said What?, Click Here
for your pdf file to use as a handout.
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Send us the outrageous things your partner has said to you--we may add
them to our handout. Click Here.
"The fact is that it is
predominantly men who bring about the conditions that lead to divorce.
" Gordon B. Hinkley, President of the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints
Submissions from our readers:
"You don't suck my dick like you mean it!" (said while the act was performed) from PC
Send us the outrageous things your partner has said to you--we may add them to our handout. Click Here.
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